It looked like an aye

But turned out to be a nay.

And the Catalans?


martello tower sandycoveLoyal readers, it is time for our annual installment of Bloomsday Twiterature, our massive 10,000-year-long project of  one tweet-length installment of Ulysses each year.  The story so far:

STATELY, PLUMP BUCK MULLIGAN CAME FROM THE STAIRHEAD, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressing gown, ungirdled, was sustained gently-behind him by the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned:

— Introibo ad altare Dei.

Halted, he peered down the dark winding stairs and called up coarsely:

— Come up, Kinch. Come up, you fearful jesuit.

Solemnly he came forward and mounted the round gunrest. He faced about and blessed gravely thrice the tower, the surrounding country and the awaking mountains. Then, ca

The Loyal Reader: Now you’re cooking with gas!  We are really starting to motor!  But tell us this, it is only Friday…

You are correct it is indeed only Friday but past experience has shown that the vast majority of our readers visit us during the workday.  I am sure their weekends are all too crowded with camogie and handball and fixing gutters and picking up the mother from Dunne’s to be visiting the web.

The Loyal Reader: That seems plausible.  I am reminded of advice I have been in the habit of offering at this time of year which is to include at least one gratuitous reference to spandex bikinis to attract new punters.

Will do.  Anyway, without further ado, here is our 2013 Bloomsday Twiterature offering wherein we finally catch sight of the bauld Stephen Daedalus:

tching sight of Stephen Dedalus, he bent towards him and made rapid crosses in the air, gurgling in his throat and shaking his head. Stephen

The Loyal Reader: Ah that’s lovely.  There’s eating and drinking in that.  That’ll keep me going for a while.  See you next year.

Well if you are still in need of more, you can alwasy swing by Ullyses of Stone Street in New York City on Sunday afternoon between 2 and 4 and there will be a great crew reading bits of Ulysses aloud into the sunshine.

As they say in the worlds of merchandising and TV rights negotiations: It’s the Bountiful Game!

Is your sporting event becoming tainted by crass commercialization, widespread cynicism about how host nations are decided, TV rights negotiated etc etc?  Have no fear!  All you need is an innocent-looking forgettable cartoonish mascot to be the mirror to the smoke of the corporate PR.. 

Please move towards the side exit!

Please move towards the side exit!

Anyone remember Wenlock and Mandeville?   Naranjito?  Ciao?  Kaz, Ato and Nik? Of course not!  And so the World Cup in Brazil 2014 has come up with another masterful mascot of merchandising:  Fuleco! 

The name is apparently “a fusion of the words ‘futebol’ and ‘ecologia.’” Curious that it is also an anagram for Fuel Co.  How one calculates the ecological effect of the manufacture, sale and subsequent discarding of all the cheap tat emblazoned with the mascot is presumably a very arcane branch of statistical analysis in dire need of corporate funding.

This too is notable: “The three-month public voting campaign, supported by FIFA Partner Coca-Cola, proved to be popular as the Brazilian public came out in force to cast their votes. More than 48 per cent voted for Fuleco™, ahead of Zuzeco (31 per cent) and Amijubi (21 per cent), making it the unanimous winner.” 

Cartoon lizard-like thingy brought to you for fun and profit by enormous business concerns.  Enjoy!

AIG Chartis AIG Again!

AIG Chartis AIG Again!

Well, well would you look at who’s back?  Some of our more retentive readers may recall when AIG as suddenly re-emergd as Chartis.  See Here.

It looks like some re-rebranding has taken place.  Wouldn’t you love to see the minutes of that meeting?  Well, now that the entity formerly known as Chartis and prior to that known as AIG is now AIG again, we can all rest easy and perhaps expect Philip Morris to crawl back out from under Altria or whatever their nondescript umbrella monicker was.

Looks like this may have happened at some pont during the storm and the flooding.  They should really have held on to the old sign instead of all this improvident splashing out on a whole new A, I and G but maybe they hve a little money to spare and permitted themselves this small extravagance.   Ah well, you know now where to go for your Christmas re-insurance needs.

In order to justify the use of this Blogspace, The Definitive Indefinite Article is enjoined from time to time to produce something of redeeming social value.  We have argued that Bloomsday Twiterature fulfills this need but have been told that it is a “nasty, dirty book.” So here is the first in a potential series of Public Service Announcements on the theme of Romney becoming President would be like….

Romney becoming president would be like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Redux where Verruca Salts gets the goose that lays the golden egg and  the everlasting gobstopper, partners with the real  Slugworth to do a hostile takeover of the factory, deports Willy Wonka (clearly a foreigner) and all the Oompa  Loompas and then asset-strips the factory before moving the whole operation overseas and selling off the building, fixtures and fittings to some predatory venture capitalists and Charlie ends up selling a kidney for food which teaches him the value of self-reliance.

Small Investors thank Hedge Fund Runners

 OK so the story so far:

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressinggown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him on the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned:

—Introibo ad altare Dei.

Halted, he peered down the dark winding stairs and called out coarsely:

—Come up, Kinch! Come up, you fearful jesuit!

Solemnly he came forward and

You’ll see we left you last year with a bit of a cliff-hanger which we are happy to resolve this year so here it is in simlcast with twitter:

and mounted the round gunrest. He faced about and blessed gravely thrice the tower, the surrounding land and the awaking mountains. Then, ca 

The Loyal Reader: And that’s it then?

It is.

The Loyal Reader: And you’re doing it a day early?

Our research has shown 88% of your audience only ever views this page while at work.

The Loyal Reader: Ah, fair enough.  Don’t forget the gratuitous reference to the spandex bikini to draw the punters.  Right I’m off.!

Are you not staying around for the discussion?

The Loyal Reader: There’s a football game on somewhere.   Sad display yesterday – a rough encounter with the rows of cast steel you might say – but the singing was lovely.

Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé!



On the fields ot Athenry

[CTRL+Q Exit singing]

The Loyal Reader: Hello?  Anyone home?

[sound of Powers Gold Label bottle being hastily concealed offscreen]

The Definitive Indefinite Article: You again?  What is it?  What is it?  I’m busy trying to flog some of this jubilee tat I imported.  Sunhats!  Sunhats!

The Loyal Reader: Coulda warned you that wasn’t going to work.  Anyway was just making plans and was wondering if you will be doing the aul twiterature for Bloomsday.  It was really picking up speed last year.

TDIA: I will I will.  It’s not like I’m being invited to read Oxen of the Sun at the White House or anything!

The Loyal Reader: Ah right.  Well I don’t think anyone is being invited to the White House to read so I wouldn’t worry about that.  So will it be on twitter too?

TDIA: It will.  Yer man Holohan will be blasting it to round webs imagined corners and beyond.

The Loyal Reader: Ah grand so.  I’d suggest making a gratuitous reference to a spandex bikini or somesuch to drive web traffic but it’s entirely up to you.  I’d better go.  I have a days off form I have to submit. [ALT + TAB. EXIT]