“News” and other Ephemera


Dream Job

Quiet enough now today.  Some Danish fellah got his motorbike stuck in the cow gate somehow.  Cross as two sticks he was.

Do you know what I’m only after discovering?  The whole summer I was taking pictures and writing posts about Cidney and Ambrose and the Comiskeys back from Australia for their holidays and all Cidney’s friends in their house share in the Hamptons  and all that and I was saving them all in the drafts folder and no one ever saw them?   Isn’t that gas all the same?  maybe I’ll make an album of the photos.  They have that yoke that does it at the Euro Spar in town.  Make a lovely souvenir for Cidney so it would.  Ambrose could post it to her.  Besotted so he is, the poor unfortunate little gobshite.

The Cliff Experience Reception Experience (Disruptive Innovation in the Prefab Hut Space)

Dream Job

 In the spirit of synergy and do-more-dynamically-with-dramatically less the Cliff Experience Reception Experience will be (I am informed) synergizing and dovetailing with some other Definitive Indefinite Article properties.  Sure it is like one of those media mergers here.  I can’t keep track of it at all!

 Anyway, apparently I am getting an intern, which is just as well cos no one seems to want the fecking job.  Seems there is a Free-Intern-Included thing with the solar panels I got a while back.  (Shoulda known there’d be a catch!) Some young wan or young fellah called Cidney.  Coming all the way over from America it seems to do an internship in Public Relations with the Cliff Experience Reception Experience.  I just googled Cidney on Ambrose’s phone and it seems she is a young wan who used to be in some blog folleyer upper or something called the Hamptons Houseshare Hell.  I can’t imagine what she would want to be doing away out here handing out flyers for dolphins on an unpaid internship of the summer.  I don’t know how this is going to turn out but she is supposed to be here this weekend.  I suppose she can doss down in one of the unfinished holiday homes with Ambrose for the time being.

The Cliff Experience Reception Experience (Disruptive Innovation in the Prefab Hut Space)

Dream Job

 Quiet enough today all the same.  Bit of a mist.  Bus of Austrians and a couple of families from Kells who were really looking for some ring fort but paid in anyway.  Boss Shanahan came over in the afternoon looking all pleased with himself.

“Any luck finding a “smart youth to hand out your flyers?” says he.

“No,” says I.

“Not surprised,” says he, “sure your ad is shite.  You don’t know the first thing about positioning.  I rewrote it for you.”

He hands me this yoke:

 

Looking for an exciting launching point into a fulfilling career on the cutting edge of the burgeoning hospitality industry?  Ready to join our dynamic public engagement Ichthyological team?  We need a highly-motivated, platform agnostic, enthusiastic, agile and mobile team member to onboard ASAP!  Email us at corporatereceptionheadhunters@receptionexperience.net.  Due to the large volume of requests received only successful candidates will be contacted.

“Put that up now in the Eurospar and see what happens,” says he and off with him back down the hill.  His young fellah Turlough is doing an MBA in Limerick so now Boss thinks he’s some kind of business guru.

The Cliff Experience Reception Experience (Disruptive Innovation in the Prefab Hut Space)

Dream Job

 Quiet enough today all the same.  Still have no one to hand out the flyers for the dolphin spotting.  Put another ad up in the Eurospar and one in Kilminihan’s.  In orange letters and all!  They’re either too out of their heads to see it or too lazy to want the job.

Bright, neat, mannerly youth wanted to hand out flyers for dolphin spotting.  Apply in person to the Cliff Experience Reception Experience Head Office at the far end of the parking lot.    Must have own bicycle.  Access to own photocopier preferred.  No time-wasters, hipsters, teddy-boys, gougers, corner-boys, yobbos, punks, hippies, goths or skinheads need apply!

Personally I have nothing against hippies but Peadar said I should put them in too otherwise it would look like discriminating.

The Cliff Experience Reception Experience (Disruptive Innovation in the Prefab Hut Space)

Dream Job

Here on me own today.  Greta went to visit her sister in Sneem.  So I’m over and back to the open the coffee shop every other minute and we’re out of Kit Kats again. Ambrose was supposed to get them last Thursday.

The Cliff Experience Reception Experience (Disruptive Innovation in the Prefab Hut Space)

The Cliff Experience Reception Experience (Disruptive Innovation in the Prefab Hut Space)

Dream Job

When the sun shines on these windows you can’t see a feckin thing.  They’re filthy.  I’ll have to bring one of them old facecloths I have under the stairs in with me tomorrow and give them a wipe.  I thought the rain would clean them but sure it only made them worse.

During a recent tidying up we found this manuscript fragment by the late unsung Dublin poet T. S. McGelligott who died in 1908.  We believe his work may have circulated in manuscript from among the Symbolists.  The Editorial Board of The Definitive Indefinite Article felt it would be appropriate to share this before April is out.

The Waste Ground

By T. S. McElligott

  1. The Burial in the Shed

April is the cruellest mott, breathing

Rothmans all over the gaff, mixing

Smirnoff and Cointreau, dyeing

Brown roots with “Spring Rain.”®

Super Ser kept us warm, covering

Earth in headacheful fog, feeding

A Jack Russell with dried raisins.

Assumpta surprised us, coming over the other Sunday

With a shower of lads; we stopped in the head shop,

And went on in sunlight, into the Brewgarten,

And drank pints, and talked for an hour.

Tá sé mahogany gaspipe feasta gan adhmad man

And when we were youngflas, scutting on the bread vans,

My cousin, he took me out on a Honda 50,

And I was frightened. He said, Maire,

Maire, hold on tight. And down we went.

In Tamangos, there you feel free.

I walk, much of the night, finally get a cab on Dorset Street.

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