Hedgeer Hemlien Private Equity - Futurizing tomorrow Now!

Hedgeer Hemlien Private Equity – Futurizing Tomorrow Today!

So like on Friday? I am on the train? and I am brushing my hair? and this lady? beside me? is all like? look honey? you probably don’t have head lice? but I don’t want whatever you do have in your hair? all over me so can you stop that? it is disgusting? and I am like so totally? so can’t? and like when I get to the house? Meggghenn? and Rutherford? and Tafte? are playing beer pong? and vaping? and are all like? it’s cherry brandy and cinnamon? don’t you just love it? and Stanstead? brought his cat? for the weekend? and it’s called Arbitrage? and keeps clawing its own fur off?  and terrorizing Ariel? and Jostlin is all freaked out? and this new guy? Thorin Sneesgaard? turns up and he is like totally wearing these $20 rest stop fake Ray Bans? and some kind of lame brand polo shirt? and apparently his boss now owns the house? but we can all still keep our shares? but he gets a share now? and he drones on and on? about his misunderstood novel? “Is This Anyone’s Toast?” and how he is forced to work for this private equity firm? because the world is full of philistines? and Tafte is all like?  oh wait?is that the one that is 900 pages? about a guy in an apartment share? in some Scandinavian place? trying to find out who left a piece of toast in the sink?  I saw that online for 22 cents? but I didn’t buy it? and he stares at her? and then gets in the pool? and stays underwater? for so long? that we all think he is drowned? until eventually he gets out? and tells Tafte? that at her age? she should look into debit reinsurance? and he can put her in touch with someone? if she is interested?**

**Publisher’s note: Despite rumors that have been circulating recently, Hampton’s Houseshare Hell was saved from having to live behind a paywall by a generous contribution from Hedgeer Hemlien Private Equity Group.  The only downside is the introduction of this new character (and possibly others) who will, from time to time, evangelize Private Equity investment vehicles