In order to justify the use of this Blogspace, The Definitive Indefinite Article is enjoined from time to time to produce something of redeeming social value. We have argued that Bloomsday Twiterature fulfills this need but have been told that it is a “nasty, dirty book.” So here is the first in a potential series of Public Service Announcements on the theme of Romney becoming President would be like….
Romney becoming president would be like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Redux where Verruca Salts gets the goose that lays the golden egg and the everlasting gobstopper, partners with the real Slugworth to do a hostile takeover of the factory, deports Willy Wonka (clearly a foreigner) and all the Oompa Loompas and then asset-strips the factory before moving the whole operation overseas and selling off the building, fixtures and fittings to some predatory venture capitalists and Charlie ends up selling a kidney for food which teaches him the value of self-reliance.
Small Investors thank Hedge Fund Runners
OK so the story so far:
Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressinggown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him on the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned:
—Introibo ad altare Dei.
Halted, he peered down the dark winding stairs and called out coarsely:
—Come up, Kinch! Come up, you fearful jesuit!
Solemnly he came forward and
You’ll see we left you last year with a bit of a cliff-hanger which we are happy to resolve this year so here it is in simlcast with twitter:
and mounted the round gunrest. He faced about and blessed gravely thrice the tower, the surrounding land and the awaking mountains. Then, ca
The Loyal Reader: And that’s it then?
The Loyal Reader: And you’re doing it a day early?
Our research has shown 88% of your audience only ever views this page while at work.
The Loyal Reader: Ah, fair enough. Don’t forget the gratuitous reference to the spandex bikini to draw the punters. Right I’m off.!
Are you not staying around for the discussion?
The Loyal Reader: There’s a football game on somewhere. Sad display yesterday – a rough encounter with the rows of cast steel you might say – but the singing was lovely.
Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé!
On the fields ot Athenry
[CTRL+Q Exit singing]
The Loyal Reader: Hello? Anyone home?
[sound of Powers Gold Label bottle being hastily concealed offscreen]
The Definitive Indefinite Article: You again? What is it? What is it? I’m busy trying to flog some of this jubilee tat I imported. Sunhats! Sunhats!
The Loyal Reader: Coulda warned you that wasn’t going to work. Anyway was just making plans and was wondering if you will be doing the aul twiterature for Bloomsday. It was really picking up speed last year.
TDIA: I will I will. It’s not like I’m being invited to read Oxen of the Sun at the White House or anything!
The Loyal Reader: Ah right. Well I don’t think anyone is being invited to the White House to read so I wouldn’t worry about that. So will it be on twitter too?
TDIA: It will. Yer man Holohan will be blasting it to round webs imagined corners and beyond.
The Loyal Reader: Ah grand so. I’d suggest making a gratuitous reference to a spandex bikini or somesuch to drive web traffic but it’s entirely up to you. I’d better go. I have a days off form I have to submit. [ALT + TAB. EXIT]