Osric The Unhinged son of Ethelgulf the Lapdancer

The Intrusive Reader: Did you read about this?

TDIA: WHAT are you doing in here?  Can’t you see I’m watching the world cup?

The Intrusive Reader: Recording the games, are you?  You’re way behind.  No need to bother watching that one – Mexico beat France handily.

[Groans from the cheap seats at the back of the gallery]

TDIA: Handily?

The Intrusive Reader: Handball.  Thierry Henry?  Remember?

TDIA: Right.   So did I read about what?

The Intrusive Reader: The Prime Minister of England just issued an apology to King Osric the Unhinged of the Jutes saying that the attack on their camp in Wessex in 822 was “unprovoked” and “regrettable.” and that the initial Drudgery Report in 824 was completley inadequate.

TDIA: Are you sure about that?

The Intrusive Reader: Something along those lines I’m sure.

TDIA: Maybe it’s the Bloody Sunday report your thinking of?

The Intrusive Reader: Ah yes that would be it!  Still better late than never, eh?

TDIA: True enough.  At least it came around quicker that a repeat World Cup win.  44 years and counting.  I’ d hate to be wating that long.