In a bizarre turn of events, the Order of the Shiny Tracksuit (Cuffe Street), the mostly Thomist rival to the Cartesian Order of the Shiny Tracksuit (Aungier Street) and best known for awarding its Sportsman of the Decade award to Thierry Henry, has awarded Green Party Deputy Paul Gogarty its Sportsman of the Decade award.
Spokesperson Terence Scully of the Order said: “It was fucking deadly the way he just told that specky four-eyed bollix Fuck You. I never seen a TD on the telly do the like of that before.”

When asked about the rumor that Mr. Gogarty had only been chosen after the Tiger Woods scandal broke, Mr. Scully retorted:  “Golf isn’t politics! Sure it isn’t even a real fucking sport!”