1. One medium piece of fresh roadkill.  Possum for preference.  If not available two plump stoats or a half a dozen moderately fed voles will do

2. Two and a half duck eggs

3. 16 Heads of garlic, peeled, minced and soaked overnight in kerosene

4. 4 cups breadcrumbs 

5. One cup buttermilk

Pre-heat the oven to 755 degrees Kelvin

Wash and pat dry road kill.  DO NOT skin.

Beat the roadkill vigorously with a spandex bikini top.  Then dip the roadkill in the buttermilk and dredge in the breadcrumbs.  Fry the eggs and place in roadkill’s mouth.  Place roadkill in roasting dish and sprinkle with garlic.  Roast in oven turning once.  8 minutes per pound and 15 minutes for the roasting dish for medium rare.  Serve over a bed of unwashed celeriac.  Best accompanied with a glass of hot cream sherry or room-temperature chardonnay.

Serves 8

Advertisements