The Concerned Reader: What is this about

The Earnest Reader: He sent a press release from Donegal.

The Concerned Reader: He what?!?!?!  Is this anything to do with that Albuquerque mystic? What does it say?

The Earnest Reader: It’s in Catalan so you’ll have to forgive me if my rendering is a little rough.

The Concerned Reader: You sepak Catalan?

The Earnest Reader: Not a word.  [Reads]

Hedgeer Hemlien is delighted to announce that it has acquired Bourse Bigote de Barcelona in a business maneuver involving beehives, Treblikistani arms dealers and an orange tricycle. .  Bourse Bigote is the world-renowned index of facial hair.  This will make Hedgeer, Hemlien, Bigote the most powerful tool of economic prognostication since Alan Greenspan.

The combined Hedgeer Hemlien Bigote Index this morning stands at 1,798.  2,200 is presumed to signify planetary annihilation so 1,798 is not good.  Since the merger yesterday, recorded sightings of waxed Dali-esque moustaches are up 4000% over last week, causing some analysts to flee cities with trucks filled with dog food and flares.    Meanwhile Fedora’s are up 2/4% and hemlines of shorts down 1.7% over last June, promising a rocky summer, particularly for the spandex bikini community.

That’s it.  I’m not so sure I got the gist of the last sentence but you get the picture.

The Concerned Reader: Do we have to publish it?

The Earnest Reader: I just read it out loud online, didn’t I?

The Concerned Reader: Yeah but beyond those exclusive Platinum TDIA members, do we need to tell anyone else.

The Earnest Reader: No, twelve people is enough.  Those initiated into TDIA are like the illuminati -a select, secretive and powerful group and no one really knows who they are or how they function as a group.  

The Concerned Reader: True enough.  Can I borrow some fishing line?

The Earnest Reader: No problem.  I think he keeps it up there behind the vinegar.