The St. Patrick’s Day results are in!  We sent our 200 interns from the Leonard Cohen ticket Procurement Project out into the streets on St. Patrick’s Day.  Each had a thick wad to twenties (thanks to Jai-Alai 3Card Monty’s hand out from Bailout Bill and the Derivative Kid) and instructions to drink their heads off in honor of a Welshman who brought a Middle-Eastern Religion to Ireland and all the subsequent fun that caused.

 

Since midnight a second cadre of 200 hastily-recruited interns has been tabulating the results and there they are:

 

23%

Went home with another of the interns.

22%

Went home alone and decided to fry eggs, fell asleep, burnt the eggs and set off the smoke alarm.

18%

Went home with a random stranger encountered in a public house.

14.5%

Fell asleep on various modes of public transport and awoke in hitherto unvisited pasts of the metropolis.

12%

Went home with two random strangers encountered in a public house.

8%

Got hired by drunken green-spandex-bikini-wearing executives of America‘s Insolvent Giant and given enormous on-the-spot hiring bonuses.

2%

Put the money into savings bonds and spent the day at home tidying up

0.5%

Spent the night being ranted at by The Apostate Reader complaining about how hard it is to get excommunicated these days.

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