The Concerned Reader: Hello?  Anyone home?


The Flustered Intern: Who are you?


The Concerned Reader: I’m The Concerned Reader.  And you, I surmise, must be The Flustered Intern.


The Flustered Intern: Correct.  Can I help you?


The Concerned Reader: I’m looking for the main man.


The Flustered Intern: He’s in the shed.


The Concerned Reader: Doing What?


The Flustered Intern: Hard to say, really: he took the Articles of Incorporation of Jai Alai 3Card Monty, an axle-grinder, some epoxy glue, some old credit cards and stormed out to the shed muttering something about bonsai tree and bank holding company.


The Concerned Reader: Not bonsai tree, you dope!  It’s Ponzi Scheme!


The Flustered Intern: Ah!  Now that makes sense.  I thought he was rigging up the printing press he bought to do Chapter 5 of Tearing Down Werburgh Street.  He’s been on some kind of Luddite binge.


The Concerned Reader: Yep.  If he can turn JaiAlai 3Card Monty into a bank by midnight then Bailout Bill and The Derivative Kid will pour money all over him. If not, he’ll be making license plates or annoying telemarketing calls from an Alabama Penitentiary for the next 5 years.


The Flustered Intern: If you’ll excuse me, I think I need to look for another internship.  Spandex, Bikini, Lowenthrop and Bilk have an opening in their Department of Existential Litigation.