Web Appointed Legal Counsel:: Through the herewith communication it falls to me to inform you that The Definitive Indefinite Article is currently in custody at the “First Amendment Memorial Re-Education Center” on Jekyll Island off the coast of Georgia.  TDIA is being held incommunicado under the Prevention of Dissent clause of the Homespun Complacency Act and possibly being interrogated in an enhanced kind of way.

 

The Concerned Reader: What do you mean “in an enhanced kind of way?”  Are we talking torture here?  Torture is not allowed in the US.

 

Web Appointed Legal Counsel: Ah well, here’s the thing.  Jekyll Island, off the coast of Georgia isn’t actually US territory anymore.

 

The Concerned Reader: You what?  Are you drunk?

 

Web Appointed Legal Counsel: Yes, but that is not the point.  The point is that it appears TDIA has been “extraordinarily rendered” there to the Georgian government.

 

The Concerned Reader: I don’t get it.

 

Web Appointed Legal Counsel: The COUNTRY Georgia, not the state.  It was kind of embarrassing so no one brought it up before but at the last G8 Summit there was some loose talk, some backslapping, a few tequila sunrises too many and an administrative mixup and suddenly someone at the State Department realized they had given  Jekyll Island to the country of Georgia.  So, in return for certain favors recently dispatched, the Georgian Government agreed to use some “enhanced” techniques to get to the bottom of the allegations against TDIA.

 

The Concerned Reader: That is disturbing.

 

Web Appointed Legal Counsel: You’re disturbed?  Try explaining it to the people of Jekyll Island when they get their tax bills in Iari from Tiblisi.  Do YOU know how many Iari there are to the dollar?

 

The Concerned Reader: That’s not what I meant.

 

Web Appointed Legal Counsel: Oh right, you mean the whole habeas corpus, “enhanced interrogation techniques” thing.

 

The Concerned Reader: Precisely.

 

Web Appointed Legal Counsel: Tricky thing that.  Blogs may or may not have a corpus to get habeased in the first place.  Particularly blogs with a history of gratuitous use of the tags “spandex” and “bikini.”

 

The Concerned Reader: Are you sure you’re a real lawyer?

 

Web Appointed Legal Counsel: Oh-oh!  Here’s me bus.  Gotta go!  Ciao baclao!

 

The Concerned Reader: Ciao bacalao?

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