The Ever-more Familiar Reader:  Hello?  Anyone home?  [Pause]…  [Silence]…[Pause]  No one home.  [Sits at keyboard.  Addresses self to screen]   Seeing as himself is away teaching athletes how to smoke and he left me the keys to feed the cat I thought we might all have a little chat.  I know, I know I was only supposed to feed the cat but I’m sure he won’t mind us dialoguing here awhile in gentle colloquy.  I like that: “gentle colloquy.” 


[Silence.  Pause.] 


It’s harder than it looks you know.  Now that I’m here I don’t really have that must to say.  Uhm, anyone remember Margaret Thatcher?  These are fun:



So anyway, here’s a weird way to look for books on the web:


[Silence.  Pause.]


If your mouse doesn’t roll I don’t know what you are supposed to do.  Maybe you can squint really hard.


[Pause.  Desperately.]  


So…. I heard a rumor from a woman in Montana who makes bumper stickers that John McCain is going to have Bush change the constitution so he can select Arnold Schwarzenegger as his Vice Presidential candidate. 


[Awkward silence]


OK!  Must run.  Here’s me bus!


[Door slams.  Mewling of hungry cat heard in the background]