The Frustrated Reader:  Hello?  Anyone home?


The Definitive Indefinite Article:  Sorry I was just out back fixing the greenhouse.


The Frustrated Reader:  Problem?


The Definitive Indefinite Article:  I think I have a wasps’ nest. 


The Frustrated Reader:  Tough.  Anyway, here’s your electric book back.


The Definitive Indefinite Article:  How was it?


The Frustrated Reader:  Well, being the materialist empirical type that I am…


The Definitive Indefinite Article:  All this time and I never knew that about you!  I have always taken you for a post-Hegelian type with historico-positivist tendencies.


The Frustrated Reader:  Yeah, right!  As I was saying, I took a paper copy of Treasure Island and then upstreamed the digified Treasure Island onto your electric book.


The Definitive Indefinite Article:  I see.


The Frustrated Reader:  Then I subjected them to the rigors on the reading process. 


The Definitive Indefinite Article:  And how did it fare?


The Frustrated Reader:  I drew up a table.  I can’t be bothered talking about this anymore.  You’re lucky I didn’t put the electric one straight through your window.  Where’s me bottle of Bailey’s?


The Definitive Indefinite Article:  Over there beside the kettle.


The Frustrated Reader:  Thanks.  Here’s me table:


The Definitive Indefinite Article:  That’s great!  I’ll put it over here under the window.


The Frustrated Reader:  [Receding into the distance]  You can do what you damn well like with it!





Paper Book

You can drop it with impunity



You won’t be lending this to friends

No way! it cost nearly $400

No Problem

Infinite battery life

Well, like, a day…or 2


Looks like real paper


IS real paper

Simple to Use

No cables, no computer

Just turn the page – it’s a book!

Needs recharging

Every 2 days

It’s a BOOK!




Can be handed down from generation to generation?

Well, until the next model makes it obsolete

No problem, bookmarks, marginal notes and all.

Leave it on your table in a coffee shop while you go for a piss?

Yeah, right!  Just like leaving $400 sitting there!

No problem.

Attains a disheveled dignity with the passage of time?

Will be abandoned in the basement in 2 years for a sexier model.

Only if it is worth re-reading.