The Frustrated Reader:  Hello?  Anyone home?

 

The Definitive Indefinite Article:  Sorry I was just out back fixing the greenhouse.

 

The Frustrated Reader:  Problem?

 

The Definitive Indefinite Article:  I think I have a wasps’ nest. 

 

The Frustrated Reader:  Tough.  Anyway, here’s your electric book back.

 

The Definitive Indefinite Article:  How was it?

 

The Frustrated Reader:  Well, being the materialist empirical type that I am…

 

The Definitive Indefinite Article:  All this time and I never knew that about you!  I have always taken you for a post-Hegelian type with historico-positivist tendencies.

 

The Frustrated Reader:  Yeah, right!  As I was saying, I took a paper copy of Treasure Island and then upstreamed the digified Treasure Island onto your electric book.

 

The Definitive Indefinite Article:  I see.

 

The Frustrated Reader:  Then I subjected them to the rigors on the reading process. 

 

The Definitive Indefinite Article:  And how did it fare?

 

The Frustrated Reader:  I drew up a table.  I can’t be bothered talking about this anymore.  You’re lucky I didn’t put the electric one straight through your window.  Where’s me bottle of Bailey’s?

 

The Definitive Indefinite Article:  Over there beside the kettle.

 

The Frustrated Reader:  Thanks.  Here’s me table:

 

The Definitive Indefinite Article:  That’s great!  I’ll put it over here under the window.

 

The Frustrated Reader:  [Receding into the distance]  You can do what you damn well like with it!


 

TEST

Electric

Book

Paper Book

You can drop it with impunity

Ooops!

Yes

You won’t be lending this to friends

No way! it cost nearly $400

No Problem

Infinite battery life

Well, like, a day…or 2

Infinite

Looks like real paper

Yes

IS real paper

Simple to Use

No cables, no computer

Just turn the page – it’s a book!

Needs recharging

Every 2 days

It’s a BOOK!

Coffee-resistant

Oops!

Mostly

Can be handed down from generation to generation?

Well, until the next model makes it obsolete

No problem, bookmarks, marginal notes and all.

Leave it on your table in a coffee shop while you go for a piss?

Yeah, right!  Just like leaving $400 sitting there!

No problem.

Attains a disheveled dignity with the passage of time?

Will be abandoned in the basement in 2 years for a sexier model.

Only if it is worth re-reading.

 

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