Since the acquisition of Jai Alai, Threecard Monty by the Indefinite Article we have been very, very busy making sure that the irregularities and hubristic excesses that brought this investment house to the sorry state where we could buy it for $1.25 a share will not be repeated.  We are confident that these reforms will calm our readers, the tax payers whose money the Fed so generously fronted us and assuage any doubts the financial ratings industry may have.   

Reform the First        Henceforth and effective immediately Jai Alia, Threecard Monty LLC will be known as TIA JA3CardMonty.   

Reform the Second   Core business of TIA JA3CardMonty will be expanded to new areas of expertise best suited to the entity’s experience such as helping investors identify and avoid worthless financial instruments. 

Reform the Third     All the deck chairs on the roof garden of our flagship headquarters will be moved under an awning to protect them from the elements and forwardlookingwise periodic moving of deckchairs will be ongoing as market conditions dictate.

Reform the Fourth    TIA JA3CardMonty undertakes to temporarily sell the stock ot TIA JA3CCardMonty to the Federal Reserve, then use the credit provided it by the Federal Reserve to buy back its own stock at a cheaper price than that at which it sold it to the Federal Reserve and use the paper profit therefrom to reward its board members in a Savings&Loan flavored split-stock straw-man stock-swap cluster-franchise merger with itself.

Advertisements