The avid and not so avid followers of The Indefinite Article will have noticed a brief hiatus in outpourings. The Principals of The Indefinite Article spent the weekend and deep into Tuesday in negotiations with the beleagured investment bank Jai, Alai, Threecard Monty. The Indefinite Article has now made a buyout offer of $1.25 per share. Obviously Jai alai was worth a lot more than that on Friday but what can one do? Even at this low price price The Indefinite Article is taking a risk so the Federal Reserve is underwriting the deal.
The Puzzled Reader: The WHAT is WHAT?
TIA: The Federal Reserve is underwriting the deal to the tune of $300 gizillion.
The Puzzled Reader: What does that really mean?
TIA: Well, you see Jai, Alai, Threecard Monty own a lot of illiquid assets, the value of which is difficult to ascertain
The Puzzled Reader: You mean they own worthless crap?
TIA: They own investments that may or not be worthless. We won’t know until we try to unload them but they paid $300 gizillion for them so the Federal Rserve will guarantee that $300 gizillion. If we sell them all and only get $17.50 then the Fed will make up the difference.
The Puzzled Reader: They will? With what?
TIA: Tax dollars.
The Puzzled Reader: Excuse me I have to go vomit.
TIA: Try not to get it on your shoes.
March 25, 2008
Bank for Sale – or your tax dollars at work
Posted by El Quebin under "News" and other Ephemera, Politics and other wildlife | Tags: bailouts, bear stearns, business, corporate welfare |[6] Comments
The Definitive Indefinite Article 
March 26, 2008 at 8:13 am
I did not heed your advice, and now my brand new, strapppy Manolo blancs are ruined.
March 26, 2008 at 10:18 am
Esteemed Nick: I believe that you will find that the lines at the shoe shines in downtown Manhattan are somewhat shorter than heretofore. This is the fake silver lining to the Cloud of Market Correction.
March 26, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Given your views on this matter, it has been decided to reroute your Economy In Cardiac Arrest Incentive Rebate check directly to J.P Morgan. Have a nice day
April 1, 2008 at 9:14 am
[…] on April 1, 2008. Since the acquisition of Jai Alai, Threecard Monty by the Indefinite Article we have been very, very busy making sure […]
April 30, 2008 at 1:07 pm
[…] OK. Watch carefully This is tricky. This is not television, so pay attention. TDIA bought Jai Alai 3Card Monty for half nothing. Got the Federal Reserve to guarantee all the worthless […]
September 22, 2008 at 10:57 am
[…] in different bottles, I, Borja Donosti have decided to recycle this post that first appeared on March 25, 2008. This gives you some indication of how long the so-called grown ups who are supposed to be in […]