The avid and not so avid followers of The Indefinite Article will have noticed a brief hiatus in outpourings. The Principals of The Indefinite Article spent the weekend and deep into Tuesday in negotiations with the beleagured investment bank Jai, Alai, Threecard Monty. The Indefinite Article has now made a buyout offer of $1.25 per share. Obviously Jai alai was worth a lot more than that on Friday but what can one do? Even at this low price price The Indefinite Article is taking a risk so the Federal Reserve is underwriting the deal.
The Puzzled Reader: The WHAT is WHAT?
TIA: The Federal Reserve is underwriting the deal to the tune of $300 gizillion.
The Puzzled Reader: What does that really mean?
TIA: Well, you see Jai, Alai, Threecard Monty own a lot of illiquid assets, the value of which is difficult to ascertain
The Puzzled Reader: You mean they own worthless crap?
TIA: They own investments that may or not be worthless. We won’t know until we try to unload them but they paid $300 gizillion for them so the Federal Rserve will guarantee that $300 gizillion. If we sell them all and only get $17.50 then the Fed will make up the difference.
The Puzzled Reader: They will? With what?
TIA: Tax dollars.
The Puzzled Reader: Excuse me I have to go vomit.
TIA: Try not to get it on your shoes.