Dream Job

 Terrible pleased altogether to be asked to host this year’s Bloomsday Twiterature, The Definitive Indefinite Article’s 10,000-year project to broadcast the entire of Ulysses 140-characters per year.  I even borrowed Tony Balfe’s drape from when he was in the Showaddywaddy cover band – closest thing I could find to Edwardian garb at short notice.  Anyway.   Last year’s Twiterature was a huge success.  It is nice to get away from the box and watching the Copa America and the Euros and it was great to give the new intern Cidney something to do to go into town and get a copy of Ulysses and keep her out of me hair for a while.  Jaysus she has me driven up the wall complaining about not being able to get Hamptons Houseshare Hell on the telly below at the house or something but that is a whole other day’s work.

martello tower sandycoveSo without further ado, as the many says, I give you Bloomsday Twiterature 2016, a genuine cliffhanger, if I may say so.

then covered the bowl smartly. Back to barracks! he said sternly. He added in a preacher’s tone: For this, O dearly beloved, is the genuine

Dream Job

 In the spirit of synergy and do-more-dynamically-with-dramatically less the Cliff Experience Reception Experience will be (I am informed) synergizing and dovetailing with some other Definitive Indefinite Article properties.  Sure it is like one of those media mergers here.  I can’t keep track of it at all!

 Anyway, apparently I am getting an intern, which is just as well cos no one seems to want the fecking job.  Seems there is a Free-Intern-Included thing with the solar panels I got a while back.  (Shoulda known there’d be a catch!) Some young wan or young fellah called Cidney.  Coming all the way over from America it seems to do an internship in Public Relations with the Cliff Experience Reception Experience.  I just googled Cidney on Ambrose’s phone and it seems she is a young wan who used to be in some blog folleyer upper or something called the Hamptons Houseshare Hell.  I can’t imagine what she would want to be doing away out here handing out flyers for dolphins on an unpaid internship of the summer.  I don’t know how this is going to turn out but she is supposed to be here this weekend.  I suppose she can doss down in one of the unfinished holiday homes with Ambrose for the time being.

The Cliff Experience Reception Experience (Disruptive Innovation in the Prefab Hut Space)

Dream Job

Fourteen!  14!  Fourteen feckin applicants I had up at the hut yesterday  for the job handing out the flyers for the Dolphins.  They’d all seen Boss Shanahan’s version of the ad .  Apparently it is all over the internet.  One young wan came all the way from Monasterevin.  All sorts of degrees and diplomas and masters and choir competencies or something,  the lot of them.  I couldn’t understand half of what they were saying to me.  When I googled some of the stuff I remembered this is what came up:

So, needless to say, I am none the wiser for that and still have no one to hand out the flyers so I hung them on a hook beside the cakes in the tea shop and maybe people will take them.  I put them outside the toilets at first thinking that way everyone would see them but I think some people thought that was the toilet paper cos we had awful cloggage from them.

The Cliff Experience Reception Experience (Disruptive Innovation in the Prefab Hut Space)

Dream Job

 Quiet enough today all the same.  Bit of a mist.  Bus of Austrians and a couple of families from Kells who were really looking for some ring fort but paid in anyway.  Boss Shanahan came over in the afternoon looking all pleased with himself.

“Any luck finding a “smart youth to hand out your flyers?” says he.

“No,” says I.

“Not surprised,” says he, “sure your ad is shite.  You don’t know the first thing about positioning.  I rewrote it for you.”

He hands me this yoke:

 

Looking for an exciting launching point into a fulfilling career on the cutting edge of the burgeoning hospitality industry?  Ready to join our dynamic public engagement Ichthyological team?  We need a highly-motivated, platform agnostic, enthusiastic, agile and mobile team member to onboard ASAP!  Email us at corporatereceptionheadhunters@receptionexperience.net.  Due to the large volume of requests received only successful candidates will be contacted.

“Put that up now in the Eurospar and see what happens,” says he and off with him back down the hill.  His young fellah Turlough is doing an MBA in Limerick so now Boss thinks he’s some kind of business guru.

The Cliff Experience Reception Experience (Disruptive Innovation in the Prefab Hut Space)

Dream Job

 Quiet enough today all the same.  Still have no one to hand out the flyers for the dolphin spotting.  Put another ad up in the Eurospar and one in Kilminihan’s.  In orange letters and all!  They’re either too out of their heads to see it or too lazy to want the job.

Bright, neat, mannerly youth wanted to hand out flyers for dolphin spotting.  Apply in person to the Cliff Experience Reception Experience Head Office at the far end of the parking lot.    Must have own bicycle.  Access to own photocopier preferred.  No time-wasters, hipsters, teddy-boys, gougers, corner-boys, yobbos, punks, hippies, goths or skinheads need apply!

Personally I have nothing against hippies but Peadar said I should put them in too otherwise it would look like discriminating.

The Cliff Experience Reception Experience (Disruptive Innovation in the Prefab Hut Space)

Dream Job

 Quiet enough today.  Strange thing happens just after lunch though.  The young lad of the Hartigans appears out of nowhere tapping at my little window.  I slide it open.

“What’s the flamenco singer’s phone number?” he shouts at me.

“What flamenco singer?  What’re you talking about?” says I.

“What’s the flamenco singer’s phone number?” he says again, beaming at me like a Cheshire cat.

“I have no idea,” says I.

“90 90 9090 90 90 9090 90 90 90909,” he says, bursts out laughing and is off across the field before I can get any sense out of him.

Peculiar young fellah.  Harmless, mind you.  I must ask Seamus Deasy about it.  His daughter was an au pair in Malaga or somewhere.  He might know.

 

The Cliff Experience Reception Experience (Disruptive Innovation in the Prefab Hut Space)

Dream Job

 Quiet enough today.  The wireless was on the blink again.  Fortunately one of the young Hurley lads came over on his bike after lunch and sat in the hut and read Samuel Beckett’s Krapp’s Last Tape to me to while away the afternoon.  A little odd but lovely in spots.  Apparently Mr. Beckett would have been 110 today.  Young Hurley says April 13th was Good Friday when Mr. Beckett was born.   Studious lad.  Full of bits of hard knowledge.   This bit I particularly liked:

Celebrated the awful occasion, as in recent years, quietly at the winehouse. Not a soul. Sat before the fire with closed eyes, separating the grain from the husks. Jotted down a few notes, on the back on an envelope.

 

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