Established in 1926 Harris Harassment is a world-leader Friendship Maintenance Consultant, bothering and badgering non-communicative and non-responsive freinds for clients across the globe.

The Definitive Indefinite Article:

The Patient Reader: I was wondering if you would ever come back to get around to that.

TDIA: Well it has been very busy over at the Sister ship of The Brothers’ Lot and then , well I got sidetracked watching Rory McIlroy winning the US golf Open and then I was on the radio on Bloomsday and…

The Patient Reader: I heard you.  I fully understand and am delighted to see you back,  I was up until all hours watching the golf myself.

TDIA: So here goes.  The story so far:

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came across from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressing gown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him on the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned:–_Introibo ad altare Dei_.  Ha

The Patient Reader: Right.  I’m with you.

TDIA: And this is 2011’s offering:

lted, he peered down the dark winding stairs and called out coarsely: Come up, Kinch! Come up, you fearful jesuit! Solemnly he came forward

The Patient Reader: Ah, that’s lovely.  It’s really starting to pick up steam.  I can’t wait for next year.

TDIA: But wait!  This year it is actually on Twitter too. 

The Patient Reader: You don’t say!

TDIA: I do! @KevinHolohan is pushing it out any minute now.

The Patient Reader: Ah that’s marvellous!.  In a strangely self-referential kind of way.

TDIA: The times we live in.

The Patient Reader: Indeed.  Oops here’s me boss!  Back to my spreadsheet. [Alt+Tab.  Exit.]

TDIA: Goodluck now.

http://thebrotherslot.wordpress.com/

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Roundelay

on all that strand
at end of day
steps sole sound
long sole sound
until unbidden stay
then no sound
on all that strand
long no sound
until unbidden go
steps sole sound
long sole sound
on all that strand
at end of day 

-Samuel Beckett (1906-1989)

Maybe you take a simple statement like “8 out of 10 cats prefer tuna to chicken” shove it into a big noisy contraption and hit the switch and out comes:

“Feline bootstrap randomization intervals using bias corrected seafood percentiles indicate a regressive boxplot of Poisson regression models for which a non-linear U-shaped relation was seen.  Locally weighted regression indicates recursive tendencies in the log-linear in the predictor variables.”

But what about the other 2 cats, you might ask?  I believe they were collaterally negligated in the excessive whining and grinding of gears as the data got shredded.

Small Investors thank Hedge Fund Runners

You will probably have a hard time remembering Jai-Alai 3Card Monty Bourse Bigote de Barcelona.   (A quick search of this locus for Jai alai will quickly refresh your memory).  Their financial wizardry landed them in regulatory difficulties and they took many of their boutique financial instruments such as their Poverty Deflate Swaps off the market.

During the recent socialist, liberal, effete, elitist witch-hunt Jai-Ala had been quietly working behnd the scenes through its political foundations, pouring millions into the election campaigns of willing and compliant “politicians” who will now create a more hopspitable environment for the kind of go-getting entrepreneurship that made Jai-Alai 3Card Monty Bourse de Barcelona the giant it once was.

Stand by for the launch of Real Income Erosion Futures and  Class-based Asset Class Repurchase Bonds as soon as the richest 2% are relieved of the heinous burden of having to pay their own electric bills.

We work for you!

The Hooker Streetcorner Bill currently before the US Congress would radically reform how political campaigns are financed.  John Hooker (R) and Harriet Streetcorner (D) co-sponsored this bill in the hope it would “bring transparency and accountability to how our elections work and for whom they work.”

The bill would

•        Ensure that each campaign contributor be acknowledged on the representative’s attire in a manner proportional to their monetary backing of that representative
•        Apportion one day a year each to the hundred (100) largest aggregate contributors to the houses of congress when they may fly their corporate flag over the houses of congress.  These days shall be known and Johns’ Days.

“We hope that this bill will demonstrate to the American People ® that transparency is our top priority.  Now you will not just be able to read a politician’s lips you will be able to read his or her clothes and know exactly whose best interests are being represented.” added Representative Hooker.

Said Gusty McGlinchey, founder of the North Antrim Centre for Non-Attachment and propreitor of Gouging Gusty’s Norn Iron Do Jo :

It has taken many years of study and practice to come up with a way to both attack and defend Taigs, uhm, Catholics at the same time.  We believe this exercise should only be attempted by true adepts.  Others may suffer internal organ damage from the strains of inner moral torque.