Just got off the phone with My Man at Jai, Alai, Threecard-Monty LLC. He had the following asset allocation recommendation for a balanced portfolio , based on walking by the New York Federal Reserve Bank this morning and noticing that the usually lightly armed Federal Reserve cop was toting a pump-action shotgun:
50% Carbon Emission Futures
30% Blue Chip pitch fork manufacturers
20% Cat food
To quote My Man: “If it all goes pear-shaped and the rabble hit the streets and have to start eating cat-food, you’re 50% covered.”
March 17, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Last week my advisers at Hangem & Leavem suggested 50% in green beer futures. I missed my shot but suspect that particular market will come around in another year or so…
March 18, 2008 at 8:19 am
Mr. Zeppelin, (or may I call you Ledwith?), thank you for sharing your near miss at fortune. I hasten to inform you that Hangem and Leavem have just been acquired by Whittaker, Doubledown and Poke’s hedge fund Precipice Investments at the knockdown price of 14 cents a share. Word on the street, mostly from desk traders who used to work at Hangem and Leavem but now stand outside Starbucks and shout at the panhandlers, is that Precipice Investments will be moving its business into new patented poverty derivatives and insolvency-backed securitized short-sell commodity obligations. Top analysts were seen to be taking notes and giving small change to the erstwhile Hangem and Leavem traders.
March 20, 2008 at 9:32 am
[...] a Bailout Turns Into a Handout Last night I had a telephone call from my man at Jai, Alai, Threecard-Monty LLC. For continuity’s sake I continue to refer to him thus even though he is no longer at the [...]